"POWER"… I have this theory that there's a big twist in, or misunderstanding about, what this is: being personally empowered (which you can't really be unless you truly know who you are) is a state which would have *no* desire to squash, or sap, or overshadow anyone else... whereas having power in the sense that you hold this over others, and are propped up by the threat of what you could do to those you've put below you, is really a position of the misguided, fractured person who seeks to lift them self up by being threatening and cutting others down - this is illness, not true empowerment.So this is a bit of a follow-up to my previous post where “equality” between men and women was looked into. Some people brought up how, in any relationship, it’s very unlikely to find a real balance of power, and that one or the other usually holds the power, even if this vacillates back and forth. This is my answer to that perception:
Approaching other people, or animals, as equals doesn't mean jockeying for a balance of power, as if looking for that 50/50 edge... it means honestly presenting who you are, given whatever that is at the time, understanding that each person is a work in progress, and not needing to judge yourself or the other person as being more or less. Each is just being who they are, to the best of their ability, and allowing the other to do the same. So seeing that it's more a matter of putting down the power struggle, rather than an effort to cope with a relative balance or struggle of forces pitted against each other... being able to meet another as an equal is relatively simple, even if it might take a while to get the hang of it. This means you're personally empowered enough to not buy into the power struggle unless you want to. In this way, a person is free... the power struggle no longer has power over them. If you know who you are as a person, and you're secure in this, then no amount of baiting and chiding, or degradation and rejection can make you more or less than you already know yourself to be. To give into this, is actually to give up your own power. But if a person doesn't know them self all that well (and most of us don't, no blame in this), then the dance of interactions in life is there to help sort this out. And so we're back to playing out and working on the human condition.
Yes, in many ways these power struggles are very difficult, complicated or convoluted, and there's overwhelming pain to be addressed. But given the will to take up the challenge of this, and discover tools to help the process, and the openness to understand what it's all for... there really is some truth to the saying: "it's all good".
8 comments:
I guess it is sort of like when Obiwan lowered his light saber towards the end of a duel with Darth Vader , and told him something like " if you strike me down , I will become more powerful than you can imagine " of something like that . And Christ told us to turn the other cheek . Gandhi had his followers lay down in front of the oncoming British cavalry . I don't pretend to even begin to really have a grasp on all of this , especially in the moment , when something , or someone confronts me in a way that triggers my fight or flight instincts . Though I have not struck anyone , physically , in response to such behavior since I was a very young man . And even then , I think , it was when another man spit directly into my face . At the time , it was more than I could tolerate . I like to think that now , I would turn the other cheek . I do think that personal empowerment , and power over others are seperate matters , though , on many levels . Sometimes no amount of self defacement can eliminate our having power over others . At other times , no matter how hard we try , we cannot seem to even slightly influence another . Such an odd situation , the human condition , no ?
Thanks for your thoughts on this, Phil, I really appreciate it. I certainly don't know all the ins and outs of this either, and stumble through the process like anyone. But what experience I've had with these power issues brings me to a place of at least offering whatever I can that might be helpful.
I love the point you bring up of how there are times when you can't prevent having power over others, and conversely, at times have no influence when you would like to. I see myself, and others (often inadvertently) giving others power over them, even when the other doesn't want this. The image would be of a dog coming and collapsing under the perceived weight of your presence onto it's back to expose that vulnerable belly, as a way of saying, "Please accept the fact that I put you in a higher and very revered position." And whether it's a person or an animal, the more adamantly and even franticly the one insisting on being subservient tries to get you to acknowledge this, the more likely or tempted that person in the power seat is to treat the lesser abusively. I don't think this is an excuse for abusive treatment, but it is a way of understanding how there are times when the abused do insist on this, whether the other takes part in it or not.
So a way to move this scenario out of a very common abusive power-play trend, to one of gaining and offering a more personally empowered option (because nothing can be forced, all needs to be taken up naturally and individually), is to first grasp what's really going on, and then deliberately choose to not go there, to not support the abusive trend of the situation. Either side of the coin can do this, and dramatically effect the outcome for the better. The one being forced into an unsolicited position of power can respectfully not take the bait of playing out this role the sacrificial subservient person dictates. They can not look at them as pathetic or with disgust and rejection, but instead have a kind and knowing eye that this person just has this issue to work out, and either decline participation (silently) or actually engage them, from a place of compassionate Knowing, in an effort to help them understand what's happening. The subservient person may come firing back with, "How dare you not take up my sacrificial offering and then owe me in return, or validate my idea of what it takes to win favor and get to heaven!" In which case, they're probably not ready to hear what you have to say. But if they're just a bit dumb-struck, and have to think about the unexpected turn of events, then your timing and skill is probably pretty good.
Unfortunately though, no matter how much one person understands the dilemma of another, wanting to help them more than they want to be helped, is not going to help matters. This has been the hardest part for me to get a handle on.
The opposite scenario, where a person is trying to maintain their integrity and sovereign non-violent attitude while being threatened by attacks and power-play tactics, is more typically the concern here. And the examples you gave of Obiwan, Christ, and Gandhi are more along these lines. I get a little concerned about what people think of when it comes to a passivist approach, because there's such subtle nuance to what's going on in this, and there are so many variables, that it can be harder to grasp the base-line of what's really happening. Out of the 3, I like the Obiwan example best, just because it seems clean and truly empowered. He knows: he can pick up the sword (saber) and be very effective, or he can put the sword down, and be no less effective... it's simply his choice. He is unquestioningly empowered without needing to prove, or dominate, anything. This is why I like Aikido so much. You become your own master. You can engage in the art of the battle, all the while practicing the art of how to respectfully unplug the battle, not further it.
Although I think I'm a passivist at heart, I also get the impression it's incredibly important that we all take whatever action we can to address these central issues of equality, personal empowerment, and the effects we're having on each other and the environment, to the best of our ability, if we on this planet want to survive.
So, I think that I am starting to understand something about all of this that I did not before . It is in all of us , this urge to overcome , and to perservere . Like the plants , outside all of the Winter , frozen in most of their being , but alive in some parts . Waiting , for the Spring , when they can send forth new growth . We all have that instinct . I think , perhaps , what has happened , is that these instincts have been taken over , co-opted , and basically stolen by the corporations and the goverments , and the people who control them . When I was a young boy , I was totally intrenched in this military corporate mind set , and could hardly wait to enlist in the armed forces so I could go fight the enemy of our state . I was acting in ernest , and my intentions were totally noble . But , they had been taken over by the corporate military cartel . Who did I really need to fight ? Myself . Who did I really need to liberate ? Myself . Who , and only who , could make me happy ? Me , myself , and I alone . Only now , after many years , do I remember clearly the final scene , of what was the last film Bruce Lee wrote , but died before he could complete . The film is Circle Of Iron . And I hate to give away the end of a good movie , but ...LOL... in the final scene , after much suffering , many battles , and great trial , the main character gains access to the book the contains all of the answers to lifes greatest questions ...and what lies within...hmmmmm ?
Mirrors . Us . Me . I . The greatest challenge . Our deepest mystery . The only one who can deliver us . Our greatest source of power . And , at the same time , our greatest enemy , our greatest weakenss , and major foe . Funny , once again ...the human condition . As Paul Gaughan asked , who are we, where did we come from , and where are are going ? Oh so simple , non ? LOL
Personal empowerment for me is through knowledge and the pursuit of enlightenment, and as such, power over others becomes mute. Some seek power over others and I find it unnecessary. It may be that, to desire power over others one would/could/and-or may have a character flaw (that being from my personal point of view). Power over others could be a human psych error that we are doomed to live with, unless recognized to the extent that it can be overcome. The desire for power over others is a very strange thing for me to understand, because it is a war machine indigenous to humans, and I feel very sorry for them at the same time. On the aggregate, I see a pitiful species gripped in the battle for power over each other.
Which in the final analysis only brings mutual destruction. It is all so very odd given the 'power' of reason. This is a huge area of deliberation that goes unaddressed by world leaders and is at the core of all world conflicts. I would not make many new friends if I were to debate the philosophy of this subject...especially speaking truth to power...that never goes over well. Those of power are rarely the benevolent sort and take a dim view of the reasonable man standards of justice when it is applied to the power they hold and what is in the best interests of the human race.
One thing about this post leaves me concerned. There is nothing wrong with power per se. Simply substitute the word leadership or inspiration or energizing for the word power (I know there are subtle differences in the meanings of these words). It is a natural way of life. In the wild many wolves are followers and many are leaders and this is their rightful place.
The issue I see is of abuse. Power with abuse is clearly a major issue. We all know of people whose "energy fills the room", And that is a form of power over that situation or the people who are in that room. There is nothing wrong with that unless the other people in the room are not allowed to express themselves. If all parties are allowed to express themselves freely there's nothing wrong with being a leader. However if because of insensitivity or self-absorbedness or desire to gain or control one does not allow others to express-then others have to be much more assertive which then leads to competition which then leads to an us against them rather than conversation. So in a way I feel that while abuse can be physical, emotional, mental,economic-and there is plenty of thjis in our world-in the relationship sphere abuse is not listening to the one you're with or being insensitive to their desire to express themselves.
To paraphrase what HubertG said, power over someone is unnecessary the more enlightened or satisfied you are with your own life, and that reminds me of the natural order we see groups of social animals (dogs, wolves dolphins etc.)
I so much appreciate everyone's input here. I've learned from Hubertg, what a difficult subject this is. I feel like such a child in this way, that I pursue a better understanding of these things, starting conversations because I think this is so important, but so naive to the challenges and likely alienation involved. He also reminded me of how important it is not to make blanket statements, seeing that there are so many variables involved. The things I write, or state, are just my opinion. I'm as tangled up in these issues as anyone... I just want to deliberately work on sorting these things out, for my own sake as well as humanities.
To me, it seems like Phil and Paul have gravitated to somewhat opposite ends of the spectrum, with Paul's examples being more immersed in the thick of how these power issues play out, while Phil reaches out to the enlightened end of things where there's a recognition that personal empowerment really is all in our own hands. But to put this in a full circle perspective, rather than a more linear or sliding scale sort of analogy... even though I do believe that personal awareness and understanding are key to an enlightened experience with power issues, I don't think it's something that we can grasp and honestly work on from a removed or isolated place. I do think that developing this awareness is gained through interaction with others and the world, but this could just be my own relationship oriented way talking.
When I try to get a handle on the subject of power issues, by making a distinction between empowerment vs. power in the sense of dictatorship or the manipulation and leveraging of others, I don't want to be drawing hard lines here which tend to lead to "good and evil" types of associations. I tend to believe that we've all played these various roles, at one time or another, and hope that this makes space for the real compassion and wisdom needed to somehow reach those people who, or parts of ourselves which, don't realize the harmful effects of their actions. As Paul puts it, if there's someone who's presence is very distinctly felt in a room, this could be because of a demanding and abusive intent behind the presence, or it could be that the person just illicits awe and respect. It could just as likely be that whatever the revered person embodies, the viewer who finds them self overshadowed brings their own tendency to abandon their own power when faced with these particular qualities. We can use iconic examples of wielding and succumbing to power in an effort to understand what's going on, but the personal dance of these dynamics is usually much more subtle than that.
I agree with Paul, that there are a lot of examples in nature which play out pack and pecking-order dynamics. And so, as animals, we play these things out as well. I'm thinking though that being human puts an interesting double twist in these more pure animal behaviors. When we seek to dominate in many of the ways that animals do, we have a way of bringing judgment and condemnation to the picture as a very human tool of manipulation and control, while on the other hand also bring the option of an enlightened understanding which can lift humanity out of the dictates of animal instincts. I don't want to be implying that animal instincts are bad. After all, there's a clean integrity to animal social structures which tends to insure what's best for the species. The fact that I can't say this is true of people, points to what I think of as a potentially fatal illness within humanity. I don't know if it's an illness rooted in a mind-heavy imbalance, which might be somehow connected with lack of heart, or if it has to do with the wounding that gives birth to ill will, but I do think the cure can be found in heart and spirit based awareness.
I understand that this tends to be a difficult and contentious subject, but the whole point of my bringing this up is to maybe come even an inch closer to possible resolve or greater freedom. So I want to ask, where is the light, where is the love in this? I see the lightness in Phil's release from getting caught-up in societies dictates and finding the power that he has to answer the questions: "Who do I need to liberate? Who do I need to be truly happy? And who is it really, that I'm fighting?" And maybe there's a ray of love, hope, and clarity in approaching these power-play dramas with an eye towards objectivity, and the understanding that there are real options when caught in a tight situation. And that this dance of interactions with people, although challenging, can be quite beautiful, and so enriching for all of us, once a degree of real freedom is gained. I wholeheartedly welcome any other light that people want to shine on the subject. Thanks so much for taking part.
So interesting how synchronistic life can be . Taking part in this dialogue about , initially , the relationship between men and women , and then personal power and power over others , and how all of that plays out in our human society and condition . And then today , coming home from work , and watching Amistad, what a profound film ! And then a piece on Sixty Minutes about DNA evidence in rape cases , and prison . It starts to dawn on me that what we are looking at is really part of every interaction that we have . We perceive something or someone . We decide to interact . How do we go about that , from what position do we come from , how does the " other " respond ,and then how do we react . Perhaps , that , right there , is the key . That concept of the " other " . That something is separate , different , and strange , when in reality , at the foundation of it all , there is no " other " , and nothing is really separate from us . That we need to control something, or someone , who we think is a threat . I recognize what Paul brought up, about the order of things in Nature , and I thought about making the same point . In Nature , of course , there is most usually the Alpha male and the Alpha female , and then a descending order down to the lowest , most submissive animal who takes whatever is left for food , and rarely gets to breed . In some strange way , we , as " evolved " " civilized " beings have inverted that . The most successful , wealthy , educated people in our society tend to have fewer children , while those at the opposite end of the spectrum have more . ( Sorry about the linear nature of my thinking , Anne ) . Perhaps we should have sought to define what true power is . Is it freedom ? So that those who are truly powerful allow absolute freedom and free will ?
I dunno , I think that I could easily wander off into an increasing state of diffusion here . Perhaps , we are , after all , God's debris .
Yes!! yes... I love what you've come to, Phil: "Perhaps we should have sought to define what true power is . Is it freedom ? So that those who are truly powerful allow absolute freedom and free will ?
I dunno , I think that I could easily wander off into an increasing state of diffusion here . Perhaps , we are , after all , God's debris ." Great work!
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