As one friend said to another: "Men are from Mars, women are from the planet that bosses Mars around..." This is funny... not just in a tongue-in-cheek way, but if you consider how many eons women have been dictated to and oppressed by men.
It does seem to be true that it takes some muscle to overcome out-dated norms and systemic oppression. And when it comes to the longstanding lack of equality at best, and socially accepted chronic abuse at worst, between men and women, we still have a long way to go. Current examples can be found in the continuing practice of female genital mutilation, and this story aired on NPR:
Gang Rape Pervasive Across Cambodia where Rachel Snyder reports…
“The tiny Southeast Asian country of Cambodia has seen explosive economic growth in the past five years. Skyscrapers will soon dominate the country's skyline and predictions of oil wealth offer hope that the country is finally beginning to outgrow its grisly past.
But a chilling form of recreation — gang rape — reminds everyone that for Cambodia, the past may yet still loom.”
A story well worth listening to. This is my comment on that, which includes what I think is an important first step in addressing this still quite present and aching gender gap:
“I imagine this is a really difficult story for most Americans to take in. It screams of major cultural differences. It may be that modern pornography has fueled this in a way that helps bring the problem to light, but statements like: "...they found that “bauk” (the name they’ve given to this luring of women into a place where the rape can happen) was a socially accepted form of recreation for young middle-class Khmer men.", "...the young men who commit the rapes think it's funny.", and making excuses for these assaults by saying, "There are also few recreational opportunities for young people." show that this is a much older and more deep cultural issue than the article is willing to state outright. The famous adage, "Men are gold and women are cloth. The former is easily cleaned; the latter easily stained." reveals what's likely to be a long held belief and distinction made between men and women. No doubt the genocide in 1975-1979 compounded matters here, but the fact that the Government seems to blow this off like it's nothing to get all riled-up about speaks to just how much those in control want to keep women in this subservient and denigrated role.
Although I think a strict crack-down on this is absolutely essential, educating people about the fact that this is horrific behavior, which should not be socially acceptable in any form (it's not okay to pull this on sex workers any more than 'normal' girls), is really the key to change. Simply shaming and punishing people will likely push this practice underground rather than honestly addressing the problem by being respectful of this culture with understanding that this is age-old stuff, in order to actually change this overriding cultural view towards all women.”
It’s no wonder that women, in their effort to establish respect and equality, might tend to take up the ways of man and reverse the trend by seeking to dominate as they’ve been dominated. So, in this way, I don’t blame these friends for grumping about the fact that they don’t like to be dominated either. But as long as there’s a mind-set that it’s either one or the other… whether it’s the man or the woman, only one at a time can dominate, then we’re just in a perpetual stand-off.
I tend to think it’s a subconscious perspective for most, but I do see this tendency, in men in particular, to “succumb” to being ruled, whether it be by Patriarchy or Matriarchy. Whereas I see the most natural approach of woman to be that of seeking to meet the other as an equal, without the need to override or dictate to the other. This is just a stereotype, of course, and it might be better to be putting this in the context of “estrogen” and “testosterone” rather than women and men, because truly, all of us do have a mix of both. But by shedding this hormonal light on the subject, it might offer a clue as to why, throughout history, men have a hard time giving up these so well established hierarchical norms. How do you have law, and order, and prestige without establishing dominance? Well… our Constitution is a nice step in that direction, and some of the more peaceful nations without huge military focus, like Sweden, is another. But relating openly, and deliberately, honestly as equals, is essential to bridging the gender gap. Unfortunately, there are many who are particularly invested in dominating, that don’t want to see this bridge built. I’ll have to get going on that post which explores “power over” vs. “being truly empowered”.
